Things overheard in hostels

So, one of the benefits of travelling is that you meet some absolutely fascinating characters. Some are wacky, some are witty, some are just clueless. Whatever the reason behind their interestingness, they say some interesting things.

Click through to see them. Some are definitely R-rated, so if you're easily offended, look away!

(Note: Some of these are just amusing quotes from out and about that I had to share. Most are from my hostelmates, though.)

Lisbon

Me: So where to next?

Felix: Barcelona, to meet up with my parents.

Me: Awesome! Any plans?

Felix: Drinking a lot of wine. They’re paying for it, and I’ll need it.

Me: Hey man, I’m Chris.

Brazilian dude in hostel: Hi. They call me “O Lobo.” (Portuguese for ‘The Wolf.’ No explanation offered)

Sofia: “And now, we go to see BUTTS!”

Sofia: “I have five bottles of wine for eight people. And you’re drinking it all, no excuses”

Gourmet shop owner: “The Portuguese have the best olive oil in the world. The Spanish think they have the best. I don’t talk with the Spanish. Greeks. I talk to Greeks. Maybe.”

Porto:

*Sean turns on AC*

Turkish roommate (who’s drenched in sweat): No. Turn off. Is like hurricane.

Porto tour guide: “I lived in Angola for four years as a missionary, no haircuts, no shaves. I was like a Mediterranean Santa Claus.”

Porto tour guide (on the creator of the Francesinha): “He didn’t like how conservative the women in Porto were, so he made the sandwich spicy so they’d drink beer with it. And a drunk woman is a liberal woman.”

Santiago

Sean (on our lazy day, where we pretty much stayed in bed from noon to 10pm): “Make sure to turn over every 2 hours. We don’t want any pressure sores.”

Madrid

Nimisha, after I listed off some of my Indian friends’ names: “Wow. I’m surprised you can say some of those.”

Phillip, when Sean walked in while he was asleep: “Hello!”

Sean: “Oh, sorry! I can turn the light off, go back to sleep.”

Phillip: “No, turn the light on, I wanted to meet you. Make sure you weren’t a rapist”*

(*Phillip is an Eastern European dude bigger than me) 

Nimisha: “Alright, somebody has to eat this last piece of cheese.”

*bickering over who will eat it ensues*

Me: “I’d eat it, but it’s more fun to watch y’all fight over it.”

Shane: “Alright asshole, now you HAVE to eat it.” *throws it at my head*

Barcelona

Me: “Hey man, how was the beach?”

Ryan: “Righteous mate. Beer, sun, and titties. What more could you ask?”

Lizzie: “Hey guys! How was the beach?”

Ryan: “Excellent.”

Lizzie: “Really? Better than Australian beaches?”

Ryan: “Nah. The beaches in Australia are better.”

Lizzie: “Then what was excellent about it?”

Ryan, looking shifty-eyed: “Uhh…it was just. Nice. Yeah?”

(Sean and I were cracking up at this. Barcelona beaches are, for the most part, topless, and Ryan was trying to avoid revealing this fact to Lizzie)

Ryan: “So where were you before Madrid?”

Me: “Santiago. It’s in northern Spain.”

Ryan: “I know I’m from Australia, but I’m pretty sure that’s in the States, mate”

Me: “…SanTIAGO. Not San DIEGO”

Ren: “So where in the States are you from?”

Lizzie: “Pennsylvania”

Ryan: “Isn’t that where vampires come from?”

Ren: “You’re thinking of Transylvania, mate.”

Lizzie: “I guess that sangria WASN’T roofied.”

Me: “…where’d you go last night? And was this a concern?”

Sean: “I heard the water at the beach is cold.”

New Yorker: “Yeah dude, made my nipples like icepicks.”